Making the right move in later life

After 40 years and fourteen moves in tied housing, on retirement, we were able to choose and purchase our first home at the age of 65. We had downsized for the second time, it being difficult each time to make decisions, but with relief at taking the opportunity to de-clutter. Our criteria for the choice was to live in a smallish Cathedral city, that provided good transport links, so that friends and family could visit. We have always appreciated living not far from the sea. With the Devon moors being relatively near, we could enjoy outdoor activities, particularly walking.

Having had a rather nomadic life around the country, we chose to return to a place we had left 25 years earlier. This meant we had contact with friends we had known before. Our two children had been in school here, who also had made some friends in Exeter. When they came to visit the “oldies”, it meant they could also visit friends. In due course, our daughter and son-in-law and granddaughters relocated to Exeter. This meant some free childcare for them and, to be fair to them, they said they could look after us in our old age.

As an Occupational Therapist, I know that these considerations were wise. For 15 years, we have enjoyed a small townhouse, with a small garden in a square, near the centre of town, in walking distance from two stations that would link to London and beyond. We were nearby shops, Post Office, Doctor and Cathedral; all important considerations.

Our home and Exeter has been a joy, but circumstances have changed. Although I consider myself fit and healthy, participating in walking, table tennis, Pilates and Scottish Country Dancing, to my amazement at 77, I had a heart attack, followed by the necessity of a triple heart bypass, followed by the fitting of a pacemaker. This was time to think again.

Not long after, my sister (88), living alone independently in a retirement flat, less than five minutes away from us, died suddenly. As my husband and I looked at the future, we thought it was time for a change. He felt that if I died first, he would not like to live alone in our home, recognising he hadn’t necessarily got the practical or domestic skills to do so. Further, emotionally, he feels that he would not be able to cope. Also, our house would not easily adapt to either of us living on a single floor, if the stairs became a problem. We decided to consider “future proofing”. We didn’t want our children to have to make the decision to move us, if our health circumstances deteriorated. So, we made the decision to move ourselves, with their agreement.

We have let our house in order to help fund the move into a flat as part of a supportive, retirement community in Broadclyst, just four miles from where we had lived. For us, it was important that the flat had an independent entrance, that it wasn’t overlooked, with patio doors from both our living room and bedroom. The scheme is run by the Church of England Pensions Board, set in beautiful grounds with a garage and an outhouse to charge our electric bike. Around us is plenty of outside space which the keen gardeners of our community making it even more attractive. There’s a well-stocked library and a simple chapel. Every weekday, a main meal is included in the rent and service charge. Extra support is available if needed. The Community is also well supported by a kind and skilful handyman. We have the use of a laundry, and a shared tastefully decorated set of communal spaces. There are two guest rooms, useful when family and friends want to stay overnight.

We have come to realise that it has been interesting and informative to be living in proximity to other clergy and spouses who have made similar decisions. This may be an important consideration for other groups of people who have a similar profession or work experience to live in such circumstances.

If you found this of interest, check out a range of other resources the Housing LIN has curated on downsizing webpage.